Hindsight is 20x20
by StarLight Pixie
Summary: 1x2, Post-EW. The pilots have continued at Preventers in various degrees. The ESUN is peaceful until inexplicable attacks appear... Meanwhile, Duo and Heero’s relationship suddenly falls apart, and Duo runs. Has Heero lost Duo forever?
1. Clouded Vision

**_Content/story_**(c) **SLP – **all rights reserved. Do not archive, copy, or repost without permission. Any sort of references/ideas used from others WILL be attributed to their respective owner(s).

**_Gundam Wing_**(c) to Bandai, Toei, Sunrise, and whoever else. Definitely not mine, definitely not making any sort of profit.

**_Warnings:_** Language, angst, some violence, death, mature themes, possible sexual situations

**_Pairings:_** 1x2 off and on, 3x4, 6x9 ----Yes it contains _shounen-ai/YAOI (if I get inspired enough)_you have been warned!----

**_Summary:_** The pilots, along with finding new lifestyles, have continued their Preventers duties in various degrees since the Wars. Times have been peaceful until inexplicable attacks begin to sprout all over the ESUN. Meanwhile, Duo and Heero's once-budding relationship strangely and suddenly falls apart, and Duo runs. Heero believes he has lost Duo forever...

**: Hindsight is 20/20 :  
By StarLight Pixie  
**

''''''''''''''''''''**. . . . . . . CHAPTER I: Clouded Vision . . . . . . . ''''''''''''''''''''**

The Preventers office was frenzied like never before. In addition to the regular workers, the emergency staffers and even agents from other international, federal, and ESUN organizations rushed around. Throughout the large office, various vidscreens on walls, in cubicles, and on computers projected news channels, or the reoccurring image of an aircraft bursting into flame against a star-speckled black background.

Lady Une appeared to preside over the scene, barking orders, signing papers, preparing with other officials for a press release.

"Une! What's the status?"

The ex-Oz colonel looked up from the chattering group swarmed around her desk and a ghost of relief momentarily appeared on her face. She excused herself and walked as quickly as possible without actually running over to the two who had called her.

"Noin, Zechs... I'm thankful you're here." She gave the fellow ex-officers warm handshakes. "Sorry that I can't give you a proper briefing, but I'm going to need the two of you to join Sally and help her on the immediate reconnaissance and analysis. She already took one group up to the sight, and she can give you any other details."

"And we just came from there," Zechs responded quickly. "That thing came damned near close to catching our own flight in from Mars in the blast."

She nodded. "I suppose we should be thankful that it was restricted to a single flight and did not catch any of the others in the immediate area."

"Do we have a responsibility claim?" Noin asked.

Lady Une shook her head. "Not officially, but some rumors have surfaced about the remnants of the P3 group (1). We're expecting an official announcement within a few hours."

Noin nodded, taking it all in. "We are ready for whenever you need us."

"Thanks." For the first time in that long night, Lady Une heard the suppressed exhaustion creep into her voice. "I'll come back to you two after I finish the meetings."

"Lady Une..." Zechs nodded towards the corner, raising an eyebrow at where Trowa and Quatre sat watching a computer screen and talking quietly. Wufei leaned up against the wall behind them, looking sullen. "Shouldn't they be coming to help us? I'm assuming that you need _all_ your top fieldwork agents on this?"

The commander's eyes misted over in an unusual display of sympathy. "Let them alone for a little while, Zechs... Duo Maxwell was on that flight."

**''''''''''''''''XxXxX'''''''''''''''' **

"_...Our news shuttle is on the scene outside the L1 colony cluster, where an unconfirmed terrorist attack has blown up a passenger flight to L2... ESUN Aerospace and Security officials have not made any statements yet, but their mission status has changed from 'search-and-rescue' to 'search-and-recovery', and it is believed that there are no survivors..._"

Trowa shook his head in a combination of awe and anger, swearing quietly under his breath after muting the broadcast. The explosion, as caught by L1 external surveillance cameras, replayed silently on the screen. Next to him, Quatre was frozen in anguish, gripping the armrests of his chair tightly and just barely holding tears back. He sniffed lightly.

"My God..." Wufei muttered from where he was standing somewhere behind them, and then added something in Chinese.

The trio was still, the air heavy around them as if it was buffering their corner from the rest of the bustling office. Even though they had watched the explosion several times over, the three former gundam pilots continued to stare, each trying to process the shock in their own way. After a few moments of numb silence amongst them, Trowa frowned as a thought occurred to him.

"Anyone seen Heero?"

Quatre sniffed again. "He's up on the roof."

"What? Are you sure he's..." the emerald-eyed Preventer turned and raised an eyebrow in question at his blonde partner, knowing he didn't need to finish the sentence.

Quatre just shrugged. " 's ok... I think he just wants to be alone."

"He doesn't need to be like that right now," replied Wufei, rare concern edging his voice, "and on a roof, at that. I'm going up there."

As they watched their Asian partner head for the elevators, Trowa murmured, "Wufei? Do you think that's a good idea? It would probably be better if you went..."

"No, no, it's actually a good thing, Trowa," answered Quatre. "They have both loved and lost."

Trowa blinked at him, but surprise couldn't really affect him any more. There was obviously something about Wufei that Quatre knew, but he turned back to the screen without asking. Now was not the time.

**''''''''''''''''XxXxX'''''''''''''''' **

"You know, I like you, Yuy, but not enough to go after you if you take trip over that ledge."

Wufei honestly had no idea what he was going to do as he walked away from the other two and headed for the roof, but by the time he stepped out into the cool night air, he decided on attempting a little lightness. It had always worked on jolting Duo out of a particularly gloomy mood, perhaps the same would happen with Heero.

There was no response, but the dim outline of Heero didn't move from where it was leaning up against the railing.

Wufei slowly walked over and exhaled heavily, joining the Japanese man at the railing. For several moments, there was nothing to break the silence except for the whistle of the breeze toying with their hair.

"I'm not going anywhere," Heero spoke after a while. The Chinese Preventer turned to look at him, but Heero did not meet his gaze.

"That's good news. Some were worrying." It was quiet for another period before Wufei spoke again. "You should stop blaming yourself."

Heero looked sharply at him, his deep blue orbs revealing emotion and pain Wufei had never seen in them before. "What are you talking about?"

Wufei closed his eyes and turned toward the city that stretched out in front of them. He allowed his mind to wander back, back to the days after her death...

"Stop blaming yourself for every little thing that went wrong. For every word said that you now consider the wrong thing to say. For any actions you could possibly link to this that makes it your fault. For all the things you should have said but didn't." He shrugged, eyes still closed.

"Well, I suppose you could, if you really wanted. You could spend hours of your time thinking about the '_why_'s and '_why-didn't-I_'s and waste sleepless nights beating yourself up over what you could have done instead of what you did." Heero still stared at him, with eyes that hid self-loathing in their blue.

Wufei's voice fell softer. "Or, you could take the word of someone else who has spent enough time doing that, and try to preserve the best memories instead... before you lose them."

For a long time, the two remained in those same positions, with only the silence to hear.

**''''''''''''''''XxXxX'''''''''''''''' **

"Tro," a young redheaded girl ran up to where he and Quatre were engrossed in the latest reports, "Here... the passenger list. I got a copy just as soon as they released it, as you requested."

"Thanks, Mariemaia."

Quatre had already snatched the thin stack of papers and let it flop into his lap. He simply stared at it, as if dreading the task. But the blonde began to run his finger carefully down the line of names.

A nagging thought tugged at the back of Trowa's mind until he considered it. "Mari... it's late. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Normally, the feisty girl would smirk, tease, or protest her adopted 'relative', but she just smiled tiredly in response, confirming for Trowa that she really did need to be asleep. "Well, mom's very busy—I don't want to bother her," she answered with a sigh, glancing across the room to Lady Une, still surrounded by a large group. "I told her earlier that I could catch the metro home, but she doesn't want me going alone..."

"Oh, Trowa...!" Quatre's cry interrupted the other two as he bit his lip and his eyes watered. His partner leaned over to read _Duo Maxwell, AC-17692-03GE, seat 23B _right above his finger(2). He didn't notice when the young lady peered around him to look until she gasped and stepped back from them quickly.

"Duo? Duo was on it!" she exclaimed, her anguished face looking up to meet Trowa's as he turned. "Oh, _no_..."

Trowa met her gaze, pain and sympathy flickering in his own eyes. Whenever they were both in the office, Mariemaia and Duo enjoyed each other's company, both of them being mischievous and animated. "This is no place for you right now," he said quietly. "Come on, I'll take you home."

''''''''''''''''''''**. . . . . . . end chapter I . . . . . . . ''''''''''''''''''''**

(1) P3 a.k.a. the "Perfect Peace People", a militant group featured in the GW manga "Battlefield of Pacifists".

(2) Don't mind me, I just made up a random ID number… Heh heh…

Well, anyhoo, I had this great brainstorm in a dream one night (sometimes my best fic ideas come from really weird dreams) but I'm not sure if it will turn out the way I wanted it. The guys aren't really talking to me yet... --pokes G-boys with a spork--

This is the first story I've felt like posting in a looooonnngg time, but now I'm not confident it's going to work. ;-/ Continue? Suggestions?


	2. Blackout

SORRY everyone! This story is long overdue for an update, but RL has been kicking me in the rear. Updates should be a_ teensy _bit faster from now on. Also, the first chap was sort of short, more of an intro really, so I hope to make up for that...

**Notes: **

_Italics_ are usually-but-not-always direct character thoughts.

FROM NOW ON THE STORY WILL CONSIST OF SEVERAL SCENES THAT SHIFT BETWEEN THE 'PAST' AND 'PRESENT' TIMELINE OF THE PLOT. Please note when the story shifts, I'm not going to tell this baby in chronological order. -insert evil laugh here- Ask if you're confused, I didn't exactly beta this... --sweatdrop-- Oh, and all notes on the previous chapter still apply.

**: Hindsight is 20/20 :  
By StarLight Pixie  
**

''''''''''''''''''''**. . . . . . . CHAPTER II: Blackout . . . . . . . ''''''''''''''''''''**

Now the sole occupant of the apartment, Heero trudged in at 7:20 AM after spending the entire night working with the rest of the Preventers emergency personnel. His friends had tried to send him home, but he was not about to leave them right when they needed his help the most, even if he could barely keep his mind together. Finally, Une ordered those who had stayed in the office home to rest for six hours before attacking the complications of the shuttle explosion. At least during the long hours of the night Heero could keep himself preoccupied with work and maintain the denial of their argument and Duo's death, but now...

He dropped jacket, paperwork, and briefcase with his treasured laptop on the floor and listlessly walked past the kitchen and into the living room. As he slowly looked around at the modest decorations he and Duo had chosen together, Heero decided that it could not possibly be true. How could his Shinigami be killed?

_No._

He swallowed hard and shook his head, as if to protest the internal tide that he could feel rising from deep within, the one that was causing his eyes to tingle and water. Although Duo had slowly been able to coerce Heero into being more free with his emotions in their past nine months together, Heero could still call up his training. He began calming himself exactly the way J taught him...suppressing the feelings...

_Water. Some cold water will help._

He exhaled and walked toward the bathroom. A glint caught Heero's eye as he rotated toward the door, and he turned back and walked over to his nightstand. Lying across the clean surface was a dull silver cross, proudly bearing scratches and nicks from loving wear. Heero's mouth opened in a silent gasp—he could not believe that it was just _lying_ there, not when its owner never parted with it. Slowly he reached down, half-believing that it was a hallucination from the combination of stress and sleep deprivation and would disappear at his touch. He blinked as his fingers glided across the cool metal, still not accepting the cross's presence even as he picked it up and stared at it, fingering the chain. After several seconds of holding the necklace, Heero noticed a scrap of paper that had been placed under the cross, the white sheet scrawled with familiar handwriting.

_I still love you._

Suddenly, a tense burning feeling took over Heero's face, starting in his eyes and spreading out. He closed his eyes, attempting to stop it, and squeezed his palm shut tightly around the cross, ignoring the way the edges cut into his skin. He swallowed hard and bit down on his lip, but an emotional torrent was leaking through the wall from which Duo had successfully knocked foundation stones.

_God, Duo! How could I..._

Heero's legs gave out, and he sank to the floor, leaning against the side of the bed for support. Realization was sinking in; he let out a muffled sob and the first tears escaped. Heero scrubbed at his eyes, one last valiant attempt at composing himself, but it was a futile effort. Every bit of control he had over his emotions had dissipated in an instant. The drops ran freely down his cheeks now.

"What have I done?" his cracked voice whispered to the empty room. _I failed you...Duo..._

Heero gave up on controlling the emotional wreck of his mind and turned to bury his sobs in the blanket, curling up in a shaking ball. He stayed in that position until the exhaustion, and welcome unconsciousness, overcame him hours later.

''''''''''''''''**XxXxX''''''''''''''''**

"Agggh," Duo slapped his forehead as he nudged the apartment door shut behind him. "I left the D379 file on my desk!" He sighed. It was the one thing he'd planned to work on at home...

Duo fished out his cell. Wufei always worked later hours, perhaps he could drop off Duo's file on the way home.

"Chang here." Wufei's head appeared on the small, digital screen.

"Hey buddy! Still working hard?"

"Yes, some of us actually work the full eight-hour day," He retorted good-naturedly.

"Hey, when you get dragged into the office way early by your workaholic other, then you get to leave early too," Duo quipped. "Anyways, I left the D379 on my desk. Can you bring it by?"

"Sure. I'm leaving in a few minutes."

"Thanks! Oh, can you ask Heero what he wants for dinner? He's still there, right?"

"Heero?" Wufei's pixilated form blinked at him in confusion. "He left right after you, isn't he there by now?"

Duo froze momentarily. "He's been working a lot of late nights recently. Tonight was supposed to be one of those nights…"

The Asian agent shook his head. "As far as I know, he hasn't been around late. Are you sure that he was working here?"

"Of course..." Duo's mind was racing. All those nights Heero had gotten home late...what was he doing? Was it all a lie? Duo had stopped at the bank to cash his latest paycheck—if Wufei was right, Heero should have been home _before_ himself.

Wufei was moving, Duo could tell by the tiny, blurred background on the screen. "Hold on..." His friend murmured, then stopped a few moments later. "Yes, his office is dark."

The braided boy bit his lip. "Ok, 'Fei, thanks anyways. See ya in a bit." He disconnected and allowed the phone to drop onto the counter as he leaned back against a wall and shut his eyes.

_Why would Heero hide anything from me? _

''''''''''''''''**XxXxX''''''''''''''''**

"Heero..."

The man in question sighed. He really did not want to deal with her right now... "Hello, Relena."

It was almost a week after Duo's death, but it was the first time seeing the Vice-Minister since.

"Heero, I'm so sorry." Her voice was a shaky whisper behind him. "I...don't know…what..."

"He knew, Relena." Heero whirled around to face her. He _had_ to get out that nagging thought, and it was now or never. "He knew that I was coming to you."

The blonde's eyes widened, then looked away from his gaze awkwardly. Heero looked at her with new suspicion. She had never been any good at lying or hiding. "What?"

"I know."

His gaze narrowed. "You know what?"

Sighing, she responded with obvious guilt. "I know that _he_ knew. I overheard him talking to Agent Chang a few days before...you know. He was worried that we were having an affair and you weren't happy with him. I—"

"Why didn't you tell me!" interrupted Heero, his anger quickly rising.

"Because!" It was Relena's turn to raise her voice. "I thought that you'd give up! We were _so_ close to success, Heero, I didn't want to throw it all away! Besides," she continued, much more softly, "I had no idea that it he would act on those doubts."

"I should have never done it in the first place. I should have known this would happen."

"No, Heero! No one would predict this! It was a completely innocent mistake."

Heero turned away. "That's why..."

"What?"

"That's why Wufei asked me what we were doing. Duo talked to him." Fragments of Heero's memory began to fall into place. He sighed. "I should have known. Wufei wouldn't notice that unless someone pointed it out."

"Oh." Relena took a step closer. "Heero, I truly am sorry, I—"

"Please. Just... leave me alone." He turned his back to her, facing the office window. The city outside, dark and smothered in snow, looked about as frozen as Heero felt.

Relena stayed rooted in her spot for a minute, upset. Then with a sorrowful nod toward his back, the diplomat turned and walked away.

_How many people knew?_ Heero silently questioned the sparse, bleary lights in the metropolis below him. _How many people listened to Duo's fears and did nothing? Relena, Wufei... were there more? Why didn't he talk to me? _

With an agitated exhale, Heero headed back to work, where even more unanswered questions awaited him.

''''''''''''''''**XxXxX''''''''''''''''**

"Hey Duo, heading home?" Heero called through his open office door. The braided agent froze momentarily before backtracking into the office.

_I'm not really lying_... "Um, yea. Wufei and I finished our paperwork for that last case. Need something?" Duo was glad that his boyfriend's eyes were glued to the screen and not witnessing the shameful redness spreading across his features.

"We're out of bagels," Heero looked up and smiled apologetically. "I'd get them, but I think I'll be leaving too late today for any stores to be open. Unless, of course, you mind skipping breakfast tomorrow..."

Duo forced a grin. "Another late night, hm? No, I'll definitely get the bagels. Until then!" He darted out to the hall.

Heero frowned at Duo's retreating form before turning back to his work.

''''''''''''''''**XxXxX''''''''''''''''**

Duo pulled out of the underground parking lot and drove off. After all, Heero's office overlooked this side of the building—it had to be believable. He circled the block and entered the lot again, from the other side. Two floors up, and he parked behind a concrete pillar—with a clear view of a specific car—and settled in for the wait.

45 minutes later, one Heero Yuy sauntered up to his car, rummaged for his keys, and got in. As his partner's brakes lights lit up, Duo gulped and sighed heavily inside his own car. If his hunch was wrong, things were about to get awkward. This would be his only chance to stop being paranoid. He took a deep breath and started the engine as Heero's car rounded a back corner towards the exit.

_Still... Explaining this would be welcome to finding out that I'm right..._

Leaving enough space that Heero would not see him in the rearview mirror, Duo flashed his card across the automated scanner and exited the parking garage for the second time that evening. He could still see the familiar sports car turning at the light, taking the normal route home... Until it bore right, entering the opposite side of the expressway. Duo sighed again and slowly followed.

Heero's car continued unfalteringly down several miles of highway. Meanwhile, Duo's mind drifted: Had Heero been doing this for long? Was he really working all those long nights? Why did he need to come to this side of the city? _And more importantly... why is he lying to me? _

"SHIT!" Duo complained as he watched Heero's car turn off. _Pay attention, Duo..._

He took the next exit and doubled back on city streets. Duo exhaled hopelessly as he waited at a stoplight, scanning the intersection for a recognizable flash of silver. He had lost the car.

"I'll never find..." Duo's mind suddenly jumped to a realization at that moment, and he froze, causing the impatient car behind him to honk. There was not much in this part of the city—mostly a residential area. But there was one resident that Heero knew well...

With a growing sense of dread, Duo turned into a posh neighborhood and down a route he knew well. Here, the houses were about the size of Duo's entire apartment building—filled with mostly stodgy retirees and _very_ well-off families.

"Fifth one on the left..." Duo murmured to himself and slowed the car to a crawl in front of an old Victorian. Well, old in the sense of style—its part-time resident had renovated a good deal of it. Duo could distinctly remember the day that Relena laughed and explained that fixing up the place gave her something to keep her mind off of work. Inside the gates sat Heero's silver coupe, empty.

Duo bit down on his lip painfully and pushed down on the gas. He looked away quickly and drove off, a different kind of pain setting in deep inside of him.

''''''''''''''''**XxXxX''''''''''''''''**

Heero kicked off his shoes at the door and stifled a groan of exhaustion. The day had kept him busy. Suddenly, he frowned. All the lights were off in the apartment. Normally, they did not give up on waiting up for each other until at least after midnight. It was only 11.

"Duo?" Heero called tentatively, flipping on the kitchen light. He noted the bagels on the counter with a slight grimace. Blueberry. They never bought blueberry, Duo knew that Heero could not stand the flavor. With a sigh, he laid his briefcase on the counter next to the bagels and made his way toward the dark bedroom.

Sticking his head through the door, Heero's honed senses kicked in as he focused on Duo's breathing. After spending a few months in the same bed, he could tell whether his lover was sleeping or not—and Duo was definitely not asleep.

"Duo?" he whispered.

No answer.

Heero frowned and rubbed the back of his neck, troubled. He had not done anything to make his partner mad recently. Why would Duo ignore him? With a small flush of embarrassment, he considered his activities in the last few hours, but Duo could not possibly know about that. Relena swore to never mention their meetings.

Heero shook his head and tugged his tie loose, walking over to the closet in the darkness. Duo would occasionally fall into periods of brooding that even Heero failed in cracking open... perhaps this was one. Duo had been acting strange at work the whole day as well. Worry nagged his mind, but he was too tired to seriously think about it and easily fell asleep, deciding on the last vestiges of consciousness that he would question his boyfriend in the morning.

''''''''''''''''''''**. . . . . . . end chapter II . . . . . . . ''''''''''''''''''''**

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! I really do thrive off of suggestions and encouragement. The boys are starting to talk to me a bit, so I think I might actually be able to pull this one off somewhat acceptably! And don't worry, although there may _appear_ to be trouble brewing in the 1x2, I assure you that there WILL be a happy ending. Eventually... O.o LOL. Besides, if Heero was actually guilty of anything, do you think his conscious would let him get to sleep so easily? -wink- As always, please let me know if you notice anything in my writing that can be improve, thanks! I don't know when the next chapter will be ready, but I promise not to leave you guys hanging for _too_ long. –cough- Sorry 'bout the delay.


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